so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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