I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
