So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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