well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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