i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
