My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
