My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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