Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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