Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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