so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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