When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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