Where did you get a picture of my penis
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
