Don't EVER smell your tampon
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
