A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
