i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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