so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
tell me about the eggs
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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