I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
