Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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