Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
