Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize