We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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