but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
