You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
