I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
