He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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