Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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