Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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