Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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