Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize