Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
