none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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