wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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