in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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