i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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