we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
