Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
