she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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