i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize