i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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