What a fucking waste of an outfit
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
