road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
