i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
