she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
