It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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