The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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