I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
