so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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