If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
