he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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