I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
50% drunk capacity currently
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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