the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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