so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
