He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I licked your asshole in confidence.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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