Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he shaved USA in his pubs
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
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