I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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