I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
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and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your dick twin last night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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