I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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