i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
