She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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